Consider the incident prompting me to dwell on this:
I was scanning the comments on a friend’s Facebook wall. It’s not something I do often, nor do I have a lot of friends on my FB page. That’s by choice simply because I can’t see the sense in collecting “friends” like postage stamps. However, I must participate to some extent simply because it has become unavoidable for full engagement in writing and publishing endeavors.
Nonetheless, one of my friends had posted a story on her wall about an unpleasant experience she had in a restaurant with some other patrons she perceived as bigoted. She was in the company of some young black men, evidently her children (she has grown children of mixed, black and white, heritage). That’s really beside the point, though. As far as I know, no comments were made, but she did feel quite uncomfortable from the disapproving stares she and the kids got from some of the other patrons. That’s not really the point, either, but it goes to the incident I’ll now relate.
A young African American man named Lee Pigrum, in reference to my friend’s initial story, made the following comment on her wall, Freakin’ whities!! Lmao
That annoyed me more than a little, so I replied, Lee Pigrum, your "whities" comment is just as racist and ignorant as the people you are commenting about. Think about it.
That led to the following:
Lee Pigrum: Um I'm not racist I'm mixed so it would be redundent for me to be, and it was not offensive in anyway
(Try to disregard Lee's (a college student) misspelling of 'redundant', or the fact that his usage indicates he doesn’t understand its meaning, either.)
I replied: (Russ Mars is a pen name, I'm Kevin Jones)
Kevin Jones: Not offensive? That depends on one's perspective. And being mixed does not give license to use inflaming words. How would you feel if I came in here and said, "freakin' blackies?" C'mon it goes both ways, but you have a nice day, sunshine.
Lee Pigrum: Well that does not make sense sayin "blackies" Jus say blacks! But sir this does not change my statement because Ms. Dawn (my friend) understands my humor and where I am comin from so this is Jus really irrelevant to anything.. So have a wonderful day gorgeous
Granted, we were engaged in somewhat of a pissin’ contest at this point.
Kevin Jones: It makes just as much sense as saying "whities" instead of "whites." It's a slur.
Lee Pigrum: Well I have never once heard or even said that slur
Kevin Jones: Now you have heard it, and as you grow older and experience more, you may learn more. Anyone who doesn't know you would take it as an attack on all whites, and this IS a public forum. Not all whites are racists.
Lee Pigrum: okayy..... i 'll keep that in mind
Kevin Jones: Really?
Lee Pigrum: No i really do not care anymore!
Kevin Jones: That's quite evident. And so the ignorance is perpetuated.
And that was the end of that.
Now my thoughts and questions about all this abound.
My first thought is that I should have kept my dog out of it because I was probably just wasting my breath on this young man, and it appears he totally missed my point—or does he, as he said, really not care?
I’m wondering if he would have cared if he were also in the restaurant with my friend at the time. What if the other patrons, rather than just staring, had said, “Freakin’ blackies!” and then laughed? Even if he’s never heard it put that way before, as he claimed, I imagine he’d have got it. Would he have found the “joke” just as funny as he seemed to think his Facebook comment was?
If he truly meant no offense to whites, why use the term “whities” at all? Why didn’t he use something more specific to the actual offense, like “bigots,” because that is, after all, evidently what those other patrons were, racial bigots, regardless of their race.
What if, while he was in the restaurant, he had turned to those bigots and called them “freakin’ whities.” Oh, but I forgot, Lee said his comment wasn’t offensive. Oh, thank you, Mr. Pigrum, for deciding for the rest of us what is and isn’t offensive. And tell those bigots, who already don’t want you there (this took place in Oklahoma), that it’s not offensive. Good luck with that.
Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t say it in a restaurant full of bigots. But, he will, and did, say it to, potentially, thousands on Facebook. How does that work? Is that how people view it? Anything goes because they are protected by their little cyber wall?
If I said, “Freakin’ blackies” referring to some bigoted black people, would that be okay? And, by putting it the way he did, didn’t he imply that all white people act that way? Isn’t it the very definition of racial prejudice to make judgments about an entire race based only on the actions of some? That is, of course, exactly what it means: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand without good justification--to pre judge, hence prejudice.
But, evidently, he thinks it’s okay for him since he mentioned he can’t be racist because he’s mixed. Really? How does having more than one race’s blood coursing through your veins make it okay to make prejudiced comments and display racist behavior, and be immune from being a racist? As Forrest Gump would have said, racist is as racist does.
I have the blood of five nationalities and two races running down my face every time I cut myself shaving. I suppose, by his reasoning, I can make any derogatory comment I want toward anyone I please and not be held accountable. And, hey, as long as some of my friends know I’m only joking, I can say those things in a public forum and everyone who doesn't know me will just have to accept it—it’s okay.
Then, there’s another word that comes into play here. He thinks it’s okay, joking or not, to act the same as the people he’s damning—the bigots. That’s called a hypocrite.
Many whites are quite guilty of prejudice of every imaginable type—racial, religious, cultural. You name it. Guess what. It’s not unique to whites.